It's no secret that here at Sergio Georgini, we believe that dogs and cats are the animals of mere mortals. It's simply not right that the man (or woman acting as a man) who spends his mornings blowing-up obscure Middle Eastern countries in the name of freedom should have to make-do with petting a common golden retriever or Siamese kitten.
America expects more, and before worrying about whether or not to issue drivers' licenses to illegal immigrants our potential leaders need to clarify a bigger issue - what pet will you take with you to the White House?
This week's suggestion is the Blob Fish (pictured above). This fish inhabits the deep waters near Australia and I think not only could this creature capture the imagination and inspire a new generation of Americans, but could also help this country realize its foreign policy goals.
Imagine this scenario. Vladimir Putin shows up at The White House and starts mouthing off about how he's going to resume long-range missile tests and plunge the world back into a new Cold War. The President simply needs to raise an eyebrow and utter these five words - "Bring out the Blob Fish."
One glance at this unholy mass of chaotic DNA and Putin's going to think twice about fucking with the free world. His mind's going to start churning....."If this man (or woman acting as a man) keeps a Blob Fish as a pet, this is one person I don't want to cross swords with."
It could work worldwide. Send Condi Rice to Iran with the Blob Fish in tow and watch Ahmadinejad suddently change his tune and ditch his nuclear antics. You simply don't want to screw around with somebody that thinks it's a good idea to bring a Blob Fish to an international peace summit.
So I'm hoping that one of the candidates takes a long hard look at this week's Presidential Pet. There's a lot resting on its gelatinous, womb-like body.
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