The Spin Out Zone: Beyonce's Breasts

Weekly columnist Lil' Bill shares his fair and balanced perspective on news and current events. We distort - you deride.

By Lil’ Bill

Beyonce Knowles’ breasts. That’s the subject of this week’s memo.

A recent report by the politically independent Conservative Right Against Porn group – or CRAP for short – stated that the increasingly provocative behavior of mega-stars such as singer Beyonce, could be harming American children.

The report claims that stars such as Miss Knowles – who has become a household name on the back of wearing revealing outfits that expose ample quantities of flesh – are corrupting the morality of our kids and hurting society.

The Spin-Out Zone believes that stars like Beyonce have an obligation to clean up their act, and to stop cashing-in at every opportunity by putting money before morality. We have no time for people like this, and I’ve written a whole chapter on the subject in my new book, Spring Cleaning America, which is available for $29.99 from most good bookstores. It really is a great read and I’d encourage all Americans – young and old – to digest and absorb the advice I offer.

But back to the breasts. Miss Knowles has joined the likes of Ludacris, Nelly, Fifty Cent and MC Hammer, who have made careers by thrusting sexual imagery and foul language down the throats of our nation’s youth. The Spin Out Zone believes that these people are morally bankrupt individuals whose only goal is to peddle filth in order to make cold, hard cash. And in case I didn’t mention this earlier, my new novel Murder In The Newsroom is now available through our online store. Now I must say that this novel is not for kids. It contains some mature themes, but I know my adult readers will find it a highly engrossing read.

But enough of me. Unless it’s included in a work of fiction by a white, middle-aged news analyst, sex, violence and bad language have no place in this country. I believe that ordinary Americans – the folks – are going to rise up against this and make their voices known. Because remember, we’re just looking out for the little guys, the ordinary Americans.

And do you know who’s going to suffer? The big corporations who back this kind of socially irresponsible material. Viacom, Hearst, ABC, NBC….these are the guys who are going to start losing money when the folks realize what’s going on. It’s about time that these giant corporations – with the notable exception of News Corporation, which has a justifiable reason for printing pictures of half-naked women in Britain’s largest newspaper The Sun – are bought to account. And the quicker the better.

The Spin Out Zone is sick of the bleeding-heart liberals like the ACLU and The New York Times who seem intent on drowning Americans in a torrent of sex, drugs, death, and evil. Ultimately, the only way to settle an argument or to find the truth is to ask yourself this question - "What would Jesus think?"

Now, I can’t speak on behalf of The Son Of God but I’m going to try anyway. I think – correction, I know – that the Great Messiah wouldn’t be loading up his CD stereo with songs about bitches and whores. And that’s just a fact.

So when Jesus is personally against something, you’ve got a big problem on your hands. And until these rappers can make it onto the Lord’s playlist, they don’t have any credibility in the eyes of all Americans up and down the country.

And that’s the memo.

Next Week: Homeless black guys are getting free food and shelter in Indiana. We tell you who’s paying for it.

And, lawmakers in Colorado want multi-millionaires like your humble columnist to pay more taxes to help the unemployed find work. As always, I’ll present both sides of the argument, and then conclude that only my opinion is right.

Until next time.